My Newest Ancient Practice

As I frantically search for new ideas in an effort to turn things around, I've revisited something so obvious, I'm not sure how it escaped me this long... Prayer.

Then I remember how this whole cancer experience is extremely overwhelming. It feels like there is an infinite amount of approaches and information to scramble through with so little time. The relentless pressure can break you through paralysis alone.

I've done my best to stay focused by categorizing tools into two areas. First, there are weapons intended to destroy cancer cells or boost my immune system - I've endured all kinds of chemo, high dose vitamin C therapy, intensive juicing, coffee enemas... There was a combo involving cottage cheese and flax seed oil (tastes as repulsive as it sounds). And of course, one 'miracle claiming' supplement after the next.

Then, there are practices that keep my spirit in tact along the journey - meditation, gratitude journals, massage therapy, acupuncture, etc. I relate these to the idea of sharpening your knives.

In my mind, prayer was a weapon (a request for a certain manifestation) that never received as much attention because I worried it surely must take something more tangible to defeat a predator as dangerous as cancer. Did I doubt prayer? Not necessarily. But I have limited time and energy, and I wanted to fully commit to other approaches.

Along the way, a few survivors (not bone cancer) I've followed were VERY religious. They credit faith as a significant part of their recovery to health. And so it's taken me little while to come around to it, but I'm revisiting with a fresh perspective... Just like how sound waves can exert different feelings and emotions, I believe our thoughts and beliefs are equally as impactful.

I'll admit since starting, I always feel a little awkward and wonder if I'm doing it correctly. Another part of me feels guilty, like I'm SO that guy who only reaches out when he needs something. Or that I'm selfishly looking to get something of the utmost value without offering anything in return.

In an attempt to even the score, I've settled on trying to be a better person. I'm still working on what that means to me and don't believe the answer is simple. The cliches are what first come to mind - listening more, helping others, repairing our planet... We'll see if I peel through to other layers over time.

All I can say is it feels good. Comforting And lately, I've noticed a little voice in my head calling out things I've missed along the way. I always try to catch right up, and when I'm able to stay in that zone - at my peak - that's when I tend to be the happiest.

Hopefully, I'm at my healthiest.