Trading Out My Suit & Tie
For almost 1/3 of my life I worked as an executive recruiter. It was a fast paced job that could be very stressful, but nothing compared to the high of a closing deal. I loved the problem solving and building relationships. Many clients became friends that I still keep in touch with today.
Living more secluded on medical leave, I miss the camaraderie of an office. Especially the little things, from Shake Shack Fridays to recapping sports and the latest TV shows with everyone. I was even lucky enough to sit next to one of my best friends— who appreciated throwing out random Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm lines as much as I did and was always good for a quick laugh.
I miss having people front and center to share life. Those moments were priceless and I still have very close relationships throughout the company. They've been extremely supportive on my quest for wellness and recovery.
When diagnosed, I was thrust into a new role as patient. My only task was to survive at all costs. I had to learn about conventional medicine and the responsibilities of being my own health advocate in an intimidating hospital atmosphere. I also had to research all kinds of holistic best practices.
Success as I knew it left the building, a painful realization. Gone are the days of excess disposable income and fancy client dinners. Now I seek joy in simplicity, which sounds nice but isn't always so happy go lucky... My ego sure misses the golden age.
At this phase I'm keeping up with scans and clinical trials while also focusing on my health full time. I used to go to the gym regularly and invested more in fashion choices. Now after multiple surgeries I can't even run or lift weights. My trusty cane helps me get around (which I seem to drop loudly every day, without fail) and support is the main fashion priority.
That's not to say I'm without vanity. Recently for my birthday I asked for a new cologne by Tom Ford. I wanted a new vibe. I wanted to shed my skin of 'Steve the cancer patient', if only the slightest bit.
I'm still working through who I am these days and what I'm about, but it's not like old Steve just went away... He'll always hold a special place in my heart and a suit & tie in my closet.
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