The “No Cancer Friend Reciprocity” Pact
For years now, I’ve enjoyed a cherished routine of kicking back with a bowl of popcorn and soaking up the half hour of comedic bliss that is Curb Your Enthusiasm. I’ve been a huge fan of Larry David’s work since the Seinfeld days and while I get that his humor isn’t for everybody, in my eyes, the man’s a genius. Interestingly enough, not only did we both graduate from the University of Maryland, legend has it that we even lived in the same off-campus house.
Curb provides the perfect blend of light-hearted escapism with clever observational humor. One way or another, Larry’s going to cross a line; we know what we signed up for and follow along in awe as each episode weaves all kinds of seemingly unrelated jokes and storylines together with the precision of a master surgeon.
This season, one tangent revolved around Larry facing his own cancer scare, and when sharing the news with his buddies over poker night, he’s told directly and unapologetically, “If you do have cancer, I can’t be your friend anymore. I’m not a cancer friend, I can’t do the cancer friend. That’s not me. It’s too much.” Then, the whole group, Larry included, agree on a no cancer friend reciprocity pact: if anyone gets cancer, the relationship is therefore terminated. Nothing personal, it’s just not what they signed up for.
As someone who’s life has been ravaged by cancer, I have to admit that I was caught off guard at first, uncomfortable even. Once I thought about it though, it was more the awkwardness of picturing friends and family watching and feeling bad for me that stung. I’ve gone through hell and back these past few years. I can take a joke. I just didn’t want others shouldering my burden unnecessarily.
If anything, it made me appreciate how lucky I am to have had such supportive friends along my journey. It’s been 4 years since I was diagnosed with bone cancer, and over that time, I’ve endured 11 months of chemo, 6 surgeries and multiple recurrences. My friends have seen me weak, bald, about 20 pounds too heavy as well as underweight to the point where they had braced for the worst. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy. It’s no small task to play the cancer friend… but I’m damn glad to have them by my side.
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