A Tale of Two Worlds
Sometimes it feels like my wife, Kori, and I are living on a different planet but still need to interact with Earth.
Kori's days are spent in a corporate office filled with meetings, water cooler conversations and happy hours. Incredibly, she somehow manages to turn it on for every interaction despite our troubles awaiting behind the scenes.
It's the constant switching gears that becomes so challenging. When you're immersed in work - to suddenly fight all that momentum, stop on the dime and return to caretaker mode - then vice versa. And of course you never know when that e-mail demanding urgent attention or the next health emergency are going to strike.
Me? I'm fighting for my life on medical leave, so there is currently no office and my days are flat out isolating aside from making plans to see friends and family. Well, except for medical appointments, I've got PLENTY of those. That leaves Instagram and Facebook as key means for keeping up with the rest of the world. Unfortunately, both have evolved into platforms for sharing achievements which tends to leave you getting caught up in what you lack.
I wish there was a Twilight Zone of social media. An app where we share our more private struggles and provide a brief reminder that nobody's life is perfect. I need more of this to cope with the madness. Hell, when you read my circumstances I'm sure you're thinking "compared to all that my life's not so bad!"
My wife and I talk about how it would be nice to find other couples who can relate to the crushing blow of being told you're days are numbered with no solution on the table. Our search hasn't been easy. Osteosarcoma tends to affect children and is so rare that I was treated at the Pediatrics floor at MSK. You can draw a ton of inspiration from these little soldiers fighting for their barely developed lives, but sometimes you crave a level of rapport that only comes with similar age. And while cancer warriors are everywhere these days, many other forms are becoming more curable and predictable.
It seems the theme of my relationship with cancer continues - I know what I want, I don't know how to get it yet. For anyone with advice or recommendations, I'd love to hear from you.
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