With a Little Help from My Friends
Between the shorter days and frigid, winter weather, New York had been wearing me down. Seasonal depression, they call it. On top of that, I was also struggling with the usual feelings of isolation from healing at home on medical leave.
I rarely notice the loneliness immediately. There are plenty of solo activities that keep me occupied, and it tends to creep up more subtly. The day’ll be chugging along just fine when suddenly waves of anxiety strike and remind me, “Oh right, I’ve been alone and in my head all day!”
With all that going on, I wasn’t in the greatest mood. Fortunately, my wife and I had made plans to visit friends and family across the country. It was well overdue.
There’s something nice about being around those I’ve known since before the diagnosis that brings me right back to feeling like the pre-cancer Steve. They’re still sensitive to my health needs, but won’t hesitate to call my ass out when I’m too controlling or self-involved. You need these people to keep you in check every once and a while, it’s healthy.
Also, it was great to hear what’s going on in everyone else’s world - and not just the Instagram version. We were able to catch up, keep it real, and discuss the recent highs and lows of our lives… Calls, texts and social media are great for what they offer, but nothing compares to the quality time of being around those you love in person.
Throughout it all, there were smiles and laughs, as well as tears… We were able to be extra vulnerable with one another because we felt safe together. Safe, in a world that seems to get more cutthroat and competitive each day. Prior to this trip, it felt like the world and life with cancer had beaten me down. I needed a spark; something to recharge my spirits and get me going again. And I’m grateful to feel like our time together did the trick. Sometimes, it turns out, you just need a little help from your friends.